On Receiving, Nov 2021
I've been thinking lately about the Law of Giving and Receiving. Many of us have been taught to give generously and to expect nothing in return. Should we expect too much from others or if we don't give enough of ourselves we feel selfish and ungrateful. For some this is so deeply embedded it's an unconscious belief system that we might not be aware of. For instance, we might have a difficult time allowing someone else to pay for a meal. Or someone gives us a compliment and rather than hearing it and appreciating it we dismiss it, make an excuse for it, or deny that person the experience of giving it because it makes us uncomfortable. On a larger scale, we might be blocked at receiving love, kindness, and compassion. This shows up frequently as isolating ourselves when our lives feel overwhelming and we are struggling. We think that if we share our stress or pain with others then we would be burdening them. So we keep things inside and suffer silently. We impede others' ability to give and thus our ability to receive.
A receptive state can feel vulnerable as we have to release a level of control to receive. However, a receptive state isn't passive and it certainly isn't weak or selfish. Receiving is actively opening our hearts to another. It's participating in true connection. Receiving is allowing someone to be generous and loving and not closing our energy off to that. Receiving is being in appreciation and even awe of what people and the world have to offer. Receiving is trusting. Ask yourself: Am I strong enough to trust?
How often do you feel exhausted and nearly out of energy, like your tank is perpetually running on empty? Still, we share our love and resources from this place of scarcity which leads to feelings of depletion and resentment. If we aren't regularly filling ourselves up we won't have enough to give. We aren't living in accordance with the law of reciprocity if we aren't honoring half of it.
We also need to be aware of what we are allowing ourselves to receive. What is the quality of energy that I'm receiving from scrolling on Instagram or listening to the news for the third time today? Is this the energy I want to share with others? Is this a state of energy that I value? Feel into the energy--is it rooted in inspiration, connection, community, joy, humor, love? Or is it drawing out feelings of lack, comparison, judgement, insecurity, numbing or sadness? What am I willing to perpetuate?
Much has been written on gratitude as a pathway out of depression, disconnection, and overwhelm. While I think it's healthy and beneficial to note what we are grateful for, I'm starting to believe that a gratitude list will only take us so far if we aren't allowing ourselves to receive first. Receiving is embodied and awakens us from the inside out within the present moment. Receiving is an act of acceptance, a declaration of presence and interconnectedness. Receive the energy, the gift, the generosity first, then be grateful. Receive the compliment--feel it, believe it, and embody it. Receive a stranger's eye contact, their smile, their beauty. Be willing to receive without worrying about being indebted. You will give back in different ways and you will give freely and fully.
When we give from this place of wholeness and connection, we give a part of ourselves that is life-giving. It's sourced from our well of abundance, our infinite connection to life energy. When we give to others and feel like our energy is being taken from us, we are giving from a place of scarcity because we have closed ourselves off to receiving. Check in with yourself this holiday season and see if you can feel the difference. If you have a journaling or contemplative practice, reflect on the ways in which you are both a giver and receiver. Notice if the two lists are even. See if you can begin to bring more balance to your lists and to your self.
Receive from others and you will more fully receive the gifts from the universe. Start small.
Receive your breath.